by J. Brown
Winter is gone, and spring is upon us. In addition to the obvious climate changes that will take place, springtime garners a significant amount of social changes, as well. The baseball park reopens. The winter cuddle buddies slowly begin to distance themselves. Sundresses become prevalent again. (Thank God.) And, perhaps most significant, day parties and brunches become the most popular weekend activities for the young professional crowd.
I didn't understand brunch culture when I first graduated from college. My only understanding of brunch was the leftover sandwich you ate at 1 pm because you woke up late from partying the night before. When I moved to DC at age 24, I quickly realized that brunch wasn't just a meal, it was an event. You don’t just eat brunch; you do brunch. In addition to learning this new verb, I also became familiar with the idea of the day party. Day parties are exactly what they sound like; it’s a club party, but in the daytime, so you can actually see what that “cute” girl really looks like. In DC, the best day parties are usually on rooftop bars where you can enjoy the weather and party with your friends.
Now, day parties/brunch parties can be pretty fun, especially the first few times you go and the experience is new. But the more familiar you get with these settings and the more you really think about it, the idea of a brunch party in the daytime is pretty counterintuitive for a number of reasons. First and foremost, day parties usually involve alcohol, drink specials and bottle service. This sounds cool in theory, but getting tipsy at 3:30 in the afternoon isn't really all it’s cracked up to be. Depending on how hard you decide to go, you may or may not be drunk when the party ends at 6 or 7 pm. Now, you’re in no man’s land. It’s too early to call it a night, but it’s also too early for any of the actual nightclubs or bars to be open. And you can’t go home and try to go back out later in the night, because once you sit down you’re probably going to just end up passing out. You didn't think about any of this when you saw the special on Eventbrite, though. You just read “free before 4 pm with RSVP” and you were all in. Now the sun’s barely set and you’re tired, tipsy, and your feet are killing you. You've been set up.
This actually brings me to my next point. Have you ever thought about how ridiculous of an idea it is to wear a dress and high heels to go eat some waffles and scrambled eggs? This isn't gender-specific, either; I was at a brunch yesterday where I literally saw a guy wearing a collared shirt with a sweater tied around his shoulders. He woke up with the idea to go to brunch and decided that his best option was to show up dressed like Carlton Banks. The brunch party is an especially strange scene, because people can’t really decide if they’re there to eat, to dance, or to simply be seen. Maybe it’s all three, but you've got to prioritize one, and once you've made your choice, you have to live with that decision. The woman who showed up with a form-fitting polka dot dress, 4-inch heels, and a face completely beat with makeup has very clearly prioritized one of the three. She’ll tell you she’s just there to “turn up with her girls”, but you should know better.
Another problem with the day party scene is the pretentiousness that exudes from the establishments that hold these events. Let’s be clear: This is not a club event. There is no VIP. Celebrities will not be making an appearance. Most times, there isn't even a dress code. Let’s cut the crap. Why on God’s green earth would you possibly be holding a line at the door? And why is there a cover charge? Believe it or not, there are some people on the line who are actually there because they’re really hungry. Why are you making them wait? Can you imagine if a restaurant like Founding Farmers – a restaurant that actually serves real brunch – made people wait outside the door and then charged them $40 to get in? The only real difference between a regular brunch and a day party brunch is that it’s louder, and there’s a DJ. Who are we kidding? These day party & brunch spots love to pretend that they’re a bigger deal than they actually are, and we perpetuate their pretentiousness by playing into it. If you’re really willing to spend $40 on a meal that isn't even dinner, give me the 40 bucks. I’ll cook you brunch, give you outdoor seating on my patio and play you my best playlist from Spotify. Problem solved.
Bottom line: Day parties/brunches leave a ton of room for error. In order for the hassle and cost to be worth it, you need a number of things to go exactly right. If the line’s too long, the price is too high, the food’s not good, the DJ’s not good, the weather’s too hot, the weather’s too cold, it’s rainy, it ends too early, it’s too crowded, it’s not crowded enough, or there’s just too much orange juice in the mimosas, you’ll be left wondering if your Sunday was indeed a fun day after all. For what it’s worth, Denny’s never made me wait outside.
No comments:
Post a Comment