Work vs. Real Life: Which You are You?

by J. Brown

Earlier this week, a coworker said something to me that's bothered me all week long. We were debating whether or not I owed it to her to be more talkative at work, despite the fact that our actual work requires very little interaction with one another. In defending her argument that we should interact more consistently, she said, "I spend more time with you than I do with my own family."

Wow.

The sad part about it is, she's absolutely right. During my four-year stint as a teacher, I would often point out that my students spent more time with me than they did with their actual parents. What I failed to realize was that I was simultaneously spending more time with them than I was with any of my family or friends. In fact, most of us probably spend more time at work or doing work than we spend doing anything else. Something seems wrong about that equation, but I'm not sure any of us really know how to fix it. 

I've always tried to maintain a separation between my work self and my real self. As a teacher, I was able to delineate a clear separation between "Joel" from "Mr. Brown". (Trust and believe, these were two decidedly different people.) Even now, working an office job, I like to think that I save some parts of my true personality for outside of work. My belief has always been that the workplace is for work, and I can enjoy my actual life after I clock out. More and more, though, I'm wondering how feasible that actually is.

Relationships 101: A How-To Guide for the Young Professional

by J. Brown

Omari and his wife, Charity

Episode 7 of the podcast featured a group of young, single professionals who shared their perspectives on modern dating for the 20- or 30-something. To look at things from the other end of the spectrum, I interviewed various friends of mine who have actually been able to maintain long-term relationships. Considering today's dating climate, they are the outliers, the chosen few who have managed to crack the proverbial code. To gain some knowledge on how they were able to make their relationships work, I asked them all the same set of questions and recorded their responses. Featured below are the responses of Aaron, 28; Wendy, 31; Omari, 27; Kim, 27; Brandon, 28; Trey, 24; Joele, 29; and Michael, 30. Pay attention and try to learn something.

1.) How did you and your significant other meet? 

Kim: My boyfriend and I met through a mutual friend. We were both invited to a free event and met each other on the line. We did the basic introductions and we didn't pay much attention to each other. I thought he was attractive, but nothing more. Eventually the group began discussing the NBA and we debated quite heatedly about the league. We kind of started to click from there. We went inside, drank quite a bit, danced together a lot, and the rest is history. 

Aaron: We briefly worked together and then found out that we both attended the same college, which was a nice ice breaker.  

Michael: The first time I met my now wife was in 2005 at the University of Miami, Pearson Residential College; it was during either Hurricane Katrina or Rita, I don't recall specifically. The dorms on campus were locked down for student safety, and to cull the inevitable cabin fever, the residences threw "Hurricane Parties". Skipping over some embarrassing details, I made my way into the party for the second time that night, fresh off a defeat (I should've lied when asked if I was a football player; big black guy, I could've pulled it off). Then, I met my wife. I'd like to say it was love at first sight, but I'm neither naive or romantic enough to believe in such concepts; lust at first sight is probably more applicable. We danced, we kissed, we visited my dorm room, we did NOT have coitus, and thus we were acquainted. 

Wendy: We went to middle school together.

Brandon: My significant other and I met on Tinder. Kind of crazy what a swipe right will do. 

Nightman: The Podcast - Episode 7

"Modern Dating 101"

Cast: J.Brown, Rae Ruckus, Andrene & Princess

For this episode, I'm joined by a panel of young, single professionals to explore the nuances of modern dating. They share where potential partners can be found, explain what makes dating difficult, and describe their own methods for navigating the singles scene.

Our Obsession with Opinion

by J. Brown

We're obsessed with ourselves.

That's what previous generations thinks of us, and for the most part, they're probably right. My generation (Generation Y/ the Millenials/ whatever CNN uses to refer to us) is pretty vain. We created the selfie, the status update, and the Foursquare check-in. We've not only mastered the overshare, we've made it popular.

Most would look at this as simply a sign of the times, but I know better. I get that the generations before us might not have had Internet, but they weren't taking pictures of themselves with their Polaroids, either. They might not have had cell phones, but they didn't feel the need to outline their weekend and bore you with tedious details the following Monday. People have always had opinions, but they didn't always feel the need to share them. But those were simpler times. As technology became more complex, so too did our vanity. 

My generation's self-centeredness is perhaps best characterized by our infatuation with opinions. Over the past few years, it seems like the line between fact and opinion has become blurrier than it's ever been. You can't just be against gay marriage; it should be outlawed. You can't simply disagree with conservatives; they're bigots and should all be banned from Congress. You can't just be upset that Kendrick Lamar lost a Grammy to Macklemore; the entire Grammy academy must be racist. We as a generation have become quite fond of not only portraying our opinions as the right way of thinking, but actually getting upset with people for disagreeing with us.