The Joy of Disappointment

by J. Brown

My favorite sports team is the New York Knicks. The Knicks, for the lack of a better phrase, are not good. Over the past 10 years, they’ve made the NBA playoffs three times, twice losing in the first round. They’ve finished with a record above .500 only three times in the past 14 seasons. And Knicks fans older than me haven’t fared much better; their last championship was in 1973. As a fan, rooting for the Knicks has been a mixture of frustration, despair, apathy, false hopes and disappointment. 

It would be easy for an outsider to wonder why I cheer for a team that has given me so little to cheer for. The easy thing for me to do would be to drop them for a perennial winner (like the Spurs) or an exciting young team with newfound success (like the Warriors). To be honest, there have been seasons when the team was so bad that I flat out refused to watch them – I touched on that idea in a previous post. But I’ve been rooting for the Knicks since 1998. Over the past 18 seasons, they’ve become my team. At this point, it wouldn’t even feel right cheering for another team. I’m in too deep now. 

Moreover, I doubt that I would really be able to enjoy rooting for a team that was significantly better than the rest. One of the biggest reason we watch sports is for the mystery of the unknown. We’re intrigued by the idea that anything could happen. It becomes a lot less fulfilling to watch a team win when you already expected them to do so. 

When Being Right is Wrong

by J. Brown

As you all know by now, France was attacked by terrorists on Friday night. In an event that felt eerily similar to 9/11, 129 people were killed by attacks at six different French locations. ISIS has since claimed responsibility for the attacks, and it can be assumed that the attacks were due to France's involvement in the US airstrikes in Syria. (For more information on the Syrian war, check this out. I was a bit in the dark myself, and this video helped to clear up a lot for me.)

Since news of the French attacks surfaced in the US, many Americans have taken to social media to express their well-wishes and to show solidarity for the innocent lives that were lost. Others, after seeing these displays of sympathy, took to social media to explain why we should not be supporting the French. 

This makes no sense.

One argument is that we are extending a level of sympathy to France that was not given to Beirut, Lebanon, which experienced similarly devastating terrorist attacks, and that we routinely do not show enough support to other victims around the globe. This may be true, and in all honesty, it probably is. What I don't understand, though, is how any of that makes it wrong to show support to the French. Should we be talking about Lebanon and the other nations that have been devastated by terrorists? Absolutely. Does that mean we must now stop talking about France? No, not at all.

The (Alleged) Importance of Education

by J. Brown

During college, I took a number of courses on African-American History and Literature. In one such course, we discussed and wrote essays comparing and contrasting the views of Booker T. Washington and W.E.B. Du Bois. Both men were influential Black figures during the Reconstruction era that followed the abolition of slavery. After freedom was finally achieved, most former slaves found themselves in a very fragile state. Newly-freed Blacks now had to find places to live, find ways to make a living, and ultimately learn how to survive on their own. As one might imagine, this led to various opinions on how best to achieve these newfound goals. While many African-Americans held polarizing views, Du Bois and Washington served as figureheads representing the opposite ends of the spectrum. 

Du Bois, who was born free, was well educated and graduated from Harvard. He believed that the key to Black success would come from education, knowledge of the arts, and access to equal opportunities. Washington, who was born a slave, graduated from Hampton, a historically black college. He founded Tuskegee Institute, which focused on teaching agricultural and technical skills. He believes that the key to Black success would come from learning job skills that would allow Blacks to earn money for themselves. 

Learning about these two men, I always leaned in favor of Du Bois' ideas. To me, Du Bois' plan was more long-term, while Washington's plan seemed temporary. Sure, vocational skills can get you a job, but how can you ever expect to get a better job in the future without an education? I also read about the so-called Atlanta Compromise, and that really turned me off from Booker T. Washington for good. It always seemed to me that Washington was a bit of an Uncle Tom, appeasing to the fears of whites by assuring them that Blacks would never be their equal as long as white philanthropists supported and funded his industrial efforts. 

The Unwritten Rules of the Men's Restroom (Written Down)

by J. Brown

Life is all about rules. When you were growing up, there were rules at school. Then when you got home, your parents had their own rules, too. You dreamed of the day when you would be an adult and rid yourself of these pesky limitations. But alas, you grew up and realized that adulthood has even more rules than childhood. Rules like "Pay your bills", "Stop at red lights" and "Don't punch other humans in the face" are really what define our lives. Without rules, everything is mayhem. Unbeknownst to some, even the most menial tasks in our lives require rules. Going to the bathroom is one such task. I don't know the rules to the ladies' room, because I don't go in there. However, the following rules are those that should be applied in the men's bathroom. Take heed, or be judged accordingly.

1. The Buffer Urinal Rule

The urinal was designed to appease the lazy desires of men everywhere. It allows men to use the toilet without having to unbuckle or unbutton a thing. You just unzip, flip, whizz, and dip. The only issue with urinals is that they don't exactly allow for the same type of privacy that you would get in a stall. What you end up with is a room full of men pulling their manhood out of their pants and peeing at a wall. This can be awkward. To quell the discomfort, the Buffer Urinal Rule states that when another man has occupied a urinal, the urinal that you use must be at least two spaces away from him, creating a one-urinal buffer zone. If we're going to be standing in the same room holding our privates, we don't need to be standing right next to each other. Some smaller bathrooms only have two urinals; the second one is simply a decoration. If one is occupied, you go and pee in the stall. Another caveat to this rule is that when you're in a larger bathroom with 10 or more urinals, you should always choose the ones furthest away from the entrance. Don't force everyone who enters to walk right past you. Caring is not sharing.

How I Became Boring

by J. Brown

They say that a man that doesn't change is a man that doesn't mature. If this is true, then one could argue that change is a natural process of growing up. If we're to be honest, everyone reading this is probably much different than they were 10 years ago, and probably even different in some ways than they were five years ago. Change is normal. Change is good. Change should be embraced. I understand this idea, but still, I've come to a conclusion about my most recent behaviors that I've had a bit of a hard time embracing. 

I'm not as much fun as I used to be.

Now, this doesn't mean my life is boring... at least, not to me. But I have noticed that I've become more anti-social over the past year or so. A few years ago, my definition of a great night would probably include bar-hopping, loud music, shots and 3 a.m. pizza. Nowadays, I look forward to just sitting on my couch and watching shows on my Roku box for 4 or 5 hours. Honestly, I think that sounds awesome. 

That doesn't mean I never go out anymore, because I still do. But my excursions are much less consistent now, and every time I'm about to make plans, there's a little voice in my head that questions me. "Do you really want to be around people? Is the activity you're about to commit to going to be worth the money you'll have to spend? Are you really going to enjoy yourself, or are you just going to spend the whole time wishing you were at home watching Curb Your Enthusiasm reruns?" These are the questions, literally every single time.

Nightman: The Podcast - Episode 8

"Power Hour"

Cast: J. Brown, Andrene, B. Cole

For this episode, we decided to do a power hour while recording the podcast, and the results were magical. While pounding beers and ciders, we discuss the story arcs and character developments in "Orange is the New Black", breaking girl code, the GOP Presidential debate, and the problematic viewpoints of one Ben Carson. 

We also talk about smegma. Yes, smegma.

Work vs. Real Life: Which You are You?

by J. Brown

Earlier this week, a coworker said something to me that's bothered me all week long. We were debating whether or not I owed it to her to be more talkative at work, despite the fact that our actual work requires very little interaction with one another. In defending her argument that we should interact more consistently, she said, "I spend more time with you than I do with my own family."

Wow.

The sad part about it is, she's absolutely right. During my four-year stint as a teacher, I would often point out that my students spent more time with me than they did with their actual parents. What I failed to realize was that I was simultaneously spending more time with them than I was with any of my family or friends. In fact, most of us probably spend more time at work or doing work than we spend doing anything else. Something seems wrong about that equation, but I'm not sure any of us really know how to fix it. 

I've always tried to maintain a separation between my work self and my real self. As a teacher, I was able to delineate a clear separation between "Joel" from "Mr. Brown". (Trust and believe, these were two decidedly different people.) Even now, working an office job, I like to think that I save some parts of my true personality for outside of work. My belief has always been that the workplace is for work, and I can enjoy my actual life after I clock out. More and more, though, I'm wondering how feasible that actually is.

Relationships 101: A How-To Guide for the Young Professional

by J. Brown

Omari and his wife, Charity

Episode 7 of the podcast featured a group of young, single professionals who shared their perspectives on modern dating for the 20- or 30-something. To look at things from the other end of the spectrum, I interviewed various friends of mine who have actually been able to maintain long-term relationships. Considering today's dating climate, they are the outliers, the chosen few who have managed to crack the proverbial code. To gain some knowledge on how they were able to make their relationships work, I asked them all the same set of questions and recorded their responses. Featured below are the responses of Aaron, 28; Wendy, 31; Omari, 27; Kim, 27; Brandon, 28; Trey, 24; Joele, 29; and Michael, 30. Pay attention and try to learn something.

1.) How did you and your significant other meet? 

Kim: My boyfriend and I met through a mutual friend. We were both invited to a free event and met each other on the line. We did the basic introductions and we didn't pay much attention to each other. I thought he was attractive, but nothing more. Eventually the group began discussing the NBA and we debated quite heatedly about the league. We kind of started to click from there. We went inside, drank quite a bit, danced together a lot, and the rest is history. 

Aaron: We briefly worked together and then found out that we both attended the same college, which was a nice ice breaker.  

Michael: The first time I met my now wife was in 2005 at the University of Miami, Pearson Residential College; it was during either Hurricane Katrina or Rita, I don't recall specifically. The dorms on campus were locked down for student safety, and to cull the inevitable cabin fever, the residences threw "Hurricane Parties". Skipping over some embarrassing details, I made my way into the party for the second time that night, fresh off a defeat (I should've lied when asked if I was a football player; big black guy, I could've pulled it off). Then, I met my wife. I'd like to say it was love at first sight, but I'm neither naive or romantic enough to believe in such concepts; lust at first sight is probably more applicable. We danced, we kissed, we visited my dorm room, we did NOT have coitus, and thus we were acquainted. 

Wendy: We went to middle school together.

Brandon: My significant other and I met on Tinder. Kind of crazy what a swipe right will do. 

Nightman: The Podcast - Episode 7

"Modern Dating 101"

Cast: J.Brown, Rae Ruckus, Andrene & Princess

For this episode, I'm joined by a panel of young, single professionals to explore the nuances of modern dating. They share where potential partners can be found, explain what makes dating difficult, and describe their own methods for navigating the singles scene.

Our Obsession with Opinion

by J. Brown

We're obsessed with ourselves.

That's what previous generations thinks of us, and for the most part, they're probably right. My generation (Generation Y/ the Millenials/ whatever CNN uses to refer to us) is pretty vain. We created the selfie, the status update, and the Foursquare check-in. We've not only mastered the overshare, we've made it popular.

Most would look at this as simply a sign of the times, but I know better. I get that the generations before us might not have had Internet, but they weren't taking pictures of themselves with their Polaroids, either. They might not have had cell phones, but they didn't feel the need to outline their weekend and bore you with tedious details the following Monday. People have always had opinions, but they didn't always feel the need to share them. But those were simpler times. As technology became more complex, so too did our vanity. 

My generation's self-centeredness is perhaps best characterized by our infatuation with opinions. Over the past few years, it seems like the line between fact and opinion has become blurrier than it's ever been. You can't just be against gay marriage; it should be outlawed. You can't simply disagree with conservatives; they're bigots and should all be banned from Congress. You can't just be upset that Kendrick Lamar lost a Grammy to Macklemore; the entire Grammy academy must be racist. We as a generation have become quite fond of not only portraying our opinions as the right way of thinking, but actually getting upset with people for disagreeing with us.

Nightman: The Podcast - Episode 6

"The Dolezal Quandary"

Cast: J.Brown, B.Cole


It's been a long time. We shouldn't have left you.

For Episode 6, we get into the topic that's been flooding everyone's newsfeed and timeline: Rachel Dolezal's blackness. We discuss her interview with Matt Lauer from this morning and the implications of her comments.

We also touch on the NBA Finals and whether or not LeBron should win the MVP if his team loses.

An Ode to the Benchwarmer

by J. Brown

I feel bad for Braxton Miller. 

He's a superstar quarterblack, he gets his tuition (and maybe some other things) paid for at no expense to him, and he's arguably the most popular kid on one of the biggest college campuses in the country. If all that weren't enough, he probably has the most resume-boosting, upper crust-sounding name of any Black athlete ever. By most accounts, he should probably feel bad for me. I mean, the guy gets Twitter shout-outs from LeBron, for crying out loud. Despite all of this, I can't help but think about last year's NCAA College Football Championship and how it might have affected him.

After leading the Ohio State Buckeyes to a 12-2 record in 2013, Miller was expected to be a Heisman favorite in 2014. He had won Big Ten Offensive Player of the Year for the past two years in a row. The Buckeyes were ranked fifth in preseason polls. Things looked promising. But after Miller sustained a season-ending shoulder injury during a preseason practice, suddenly, it was all over.

As some of you know, the Buckeyes would go on to perform quite well without him. They finished the 2014 season with a 14-1 record, qualified for the first ever NCAA College Football Playoffs, and ending up winning the championship behind the heroics of Cardale Jones, who was the 3rd-string quarterback when the season started. As the confetti fell and the commentators waxed poetic about the resilience of the team and the abilities of their new undervalued leader, all I could think about was Braxton Miller. How does he feel? Sure, his team just won a national championship, but they did it without him from start to finish. They didn't even need him, and they actually fared better without him. What's worse: He was basically forgotten. I re-watched the closing moments of the championship game on YouTube, and the cameras never even showed his face during the celebration.

Was he happy about this? Did he enjoy seeing his team win it all, or was he a little bit salty that they did it with him standing on the sideline? Can star athletes truly enjoy wins that they didn't affect in any significant way?

Dissenting Opinions: THE GRIZZ

by Lee Deltoro

I do not like Memphis Grizzlies basketball. I know that makes me a heretic. I refuse to care. I do not want to hear about the beautiful struggle that is Courtney Lee’s jumper, or what these long-suffering fans deserve. Yes, Z-Bo was a knucklehead, and now he's not. I’m more concerned that he is an example of someone coasting from "natural talent". It's not as if increasing your vertical leap is some mythical path, the secrets of which died out with the last alchemists. Get in the gym. Work. Tony Allen is a great one-way player. But why extol him over Monta Ellis? He has all the physical tools to be a great scorer as well, but he refused to put in the time it takes to do so. Marc Gasol is from Spain and he has an older brother. Mike Conley is slightly better than you thought he was. Memphis basketball is where ideological adversaries find common ground. Blue collar work ethic meets alt-culture cynicism. 

Half the celebration of Grizzlies basketball is ironic. There is a whole generation that loves the subversion of the mainstream. "I am a breakfast defector" seems akin to "Go Grizz!" Since “Pace and space” are the words of the day, they instead flock to “grit and grind”. What’s interesting is that the same pundits who love Memphis today also loved Phoenix’s free-flowing offense 6 years ago. All hail D’Antoni! They constantly bemoaned the Lakers lack of outside shooting and slowness of pace. Before they were analytics darlings, the plodding Spurs were loathed for their lack of entertainment value. These people embrace today’s different, no matter how similar it is to what we’ve seen before. 

Nightman: The Podcast - Episode 5

"Birthdays, Relationship Advice & 90s Radio"

Cast: J. Brown, Nick, Kalis, Lee Deltoro

For the fifth installment, the crew discusses the slippery slope of relationship advice (should you give it? should you listen to it?). We also touch on why birthdays don't matter anymore, the inconsistencies of weather reports, and whether TV is now more important than movies.

Also, some listeners were having some playback issues with the last few episodes, so I've switched back to Soundcloud and re-uploaded the first four episodes. You can go back and listen to them out here, here, here and here.

Thumbs Up

by Lee Deltoro

Which is more important: The earthquake that recently devastated Nepal, leaving thousands dead and countless more traumatized, or the trailer for San Andreas, the new earthquake thriller starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson? Any decent-hearted adult knows it's Nepal. But which has come up in conversation with my college-educated friends over the past week? Yes, San Andreas. So for someone who is looking to engage with us, The Rock is a better bet. And I am positive that for a large number of us, there are apt comparisons. Does this mean we are all soulless sociopaths? No, we have just adjusted our value system to the world around us. 

With each new cultural phenomenon comes a change in value systems. We are in the midst of such a change today. Tidal waves of ideas and images are constantly reshaping the keystones of culture. With these quickly eroding, where do we find guidance? Previously, each of us had a relatively consistent set of examples by which we judged ourselves and others within our immediate circle. Today, our cultural ecosystem has transformed from a savannah to a rainforest. There are more expressions of individual life experiences entering your space than ever before. Through online interaction, we bear witness to a kaleidoscope of characters, imperceptible to generations before us. 

Nightman: The Podcast - Episode 4

"Party Protocol & First Dates"

Cast: J. Brown, Brittany, Andrene

Our fourth podcast features a lively discussion on the protocols for hosting and attending a house party. We also talk about our worst first dates, and explain why you should stop rooting for Floyd Mayweather.

Puttin' On For Your City: An Analysis

by J. Brown

Confession: I really like T-Pain. Having attending college from 2004-2008, Mr. Pain was an integral part of my party-going experiences. It could even be argued that other than Lil' Wayne, T-Pain was the biggest hip-hop artist during that time period. In addition to having his own smash singles, like "Buy U a Drank", he was also featured on A LOT of other people's singles. Just look at this list of singles that he was featured on; his 2007 was insane. 

Graduating college should have put T-Pain in a strictly nostalgic place for me, somewhere along with Bacardi Limon, fake IDs and Ramen noodles. That hasn't happened. I still enjoy his music, and could probably spend an unnecessary amount of time spouting the merits of Thr33 Ringz. So the other day, I was listening to his latest album while mopping the floors in my house. (I'm still an adult, after all.) On the first song, he used a phrase that's overused in hip-hop, but for some reason, it made me think. Yes, I said it: T-Pain's music made me think. In the first verse - which is mostly just about being a baller and gettin' these hoes - T-Pain claims that he does it "for my hood." Though I've heard rappers say this countless times on records, for some reason, I really thought to myself, 'What does that actually mean?' How exactly does one "do it for their hood"?

Beware of the Brunch

by J. Brown

Winter is gone, and spring is upon us. In addition to the obvious climate changes that will take place, springtime garners a significant amount of social changes, as well. The baseball park reopens. The winter cuddle buddies slowly begin to distance themselves. Sundresses become prevalent again. (Thank God.) And, perhaps most significant, day parties and brunches become the most popular weekend activities for the young professional crowd. 

I didn't understand brunch culture when I first graduated from college. My only understanding of brunch was the leftover sandwich you ate at 1 pm because you woke up late from partying the night before. When I moved to DC at age 24, I quickly realized that brunch wasn't just a meal, it was an event. You don’t just eat brunch; you do brunch. In addition to learning this new verb, I also became familiar with the idea of the day party. Day parties are exactly what they sound like; it’s a club party, but in the daytime, so you can actually see what that “cute” girl really looks like. In DC, the best day parties are usually on rooftop bars where you can enjoy the weather and party with your friends. 

Now, day parties/brunch parties can be pretty fun, especially the first few times you go and the experience is new. But the more familiar you get with these settings and the more you really think about it, the idea of a brunch party in the daytime is pretty counterintuitive for a number of reasons. First and foremost, day parties usually involve alcohol, drink specials and bottle service. This sounds cool in theory, but getting tipsy at 3:30 in the afternoon isn't really all it’s cracked up to be. Depending on how hard you decide to go, you may or may not be drunk when the party ends at 6 or 7 pm. Now, you’re in no man’s land. It’s too early to call it a night, but it’s also too early for any of the actual nightclubs or bars to be open. And you can’t go home and try to go back out later in the night, because once you sit down you’re probably going to just end up passing out. You didn't think about any of this when you saw the special on Eventbrite, though. You just read “free before 4 pm with RSVP” and you were all in. Now the sun’s barely set and you’re tired, tipsy, and your feet are killing you. You've been set up. 

Album Review: To Pimp A Butterfly by Kendrick Lamar

Instead of giving you another biased album review with subjective statements from one listener's point of view, we decided to use a more holistic approach by asking three different listeners to share their opinions on Kendrick Lamar's latest album, To Pimp a Butterfly. In addition to regular contributor J. Brown, we received the reviews from singer/rapper/songwriter David Brown from Atlanta and videographer Rae Ruckus from NYC. None of the writers were given any of the other reviews prior to submitting their own, so each writer's piece is solely representative of the album as they heard it. Now, on to the reviews...

Nightman: The Podcast - Episode 3

"All The Things We Hate"

For our third episode, J. Brown is joined once again by Andrene and Brittany. This time, they rant about a number of things they find bothersome, including hashtags, group dinners, and people who don't tip.